Latest statistics suggest up to 5% of the population identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. These terms are used often in every day. But do you know what to be ‘intersex’ means? Would you know what I meant if I referred to myself as a cis-woman? What’s the difference between a transvestite, a transexual or a transgender person? Probably not. Because although TV has blessed us with wonderful programmes like Lip Service and Sugar Rush and films like Brokeback Mountain, we have been left in the dark when it comes to gender. Rocky Horror Picture Show doesn’t count 🙂
1 in 1000 people ‘suffer’ from gender dysphoria. This ‘condition’ varies immensely, but right across the spectrum these people suffer from transphobia.
Perhaps the most misunderstood people are those who are transgender. Transgender people can be pre-op (before surgery) or post-op (after surgery). And most likely will be using their new gender’s pronoun – i.e. he or she. Before they undergo complete surgery, the UK’s requires them to live 3 years as their new gender, at work, home and socially, whilst being on hormone replacement therapy. General ignorance means trans people are often confused with a transvestite; someone who cross dresses either for fetishistic purposes or for fun. This is as opposed to a transexual person who feels they are trapped in the wrong gendered body.
Perhaps the less well known form of gender dysphoria is people who identify as the 3rd gender, or as a two-spirit. Some of these people will be biologically male and female and have both external genitalia. Others may have a chromosomal difference such add XY-females or XX-males. This is called intersexuality; for example, they may have male genitals and find out later in life they have internal ovaries. This is the most socially and scientifically complicated forms of gender dysphoria, as the child or young adult has been raised as a boy or a girl, only to find out they arn’t, and in a society where the gender binary is the norm, they suddenly loose a big part of their identity.
Androgenous is a word often heard, especially on modelling programmes such as ANTM as it’s generally a rare and beautiful quality. Many gender queer people purposely make themselves appear more androgenous: cis males may wear eye liner, while cis females may use a binder to disguise their breasts.
Gender queer people are those who don’t define themselves as male or female. They may present as masculine or feminine on different days, or cross dress at different times. They are very fluid, and often break out of the ‘male’ or ‘female’ boxes on forms. I draw an extra little box sometimes, labelled ‘other’ and tick that. They understand that sex and gender are 2 seperate things and prefer gender neutral pronouns.
I’d say there were 4 main options when it comes to gender neutral pronouns.
1. Zie, zer, hir. I am unsure of which is most appropriate for what situation, so this is perhaps something for you to look up if you’re interested. They are difficult to integrate into the English language as they are German words and if somebody wants you to use these, they will probably let you know.
2. Spavik. This is great, as it’s subtle, but it does sometimes make people think you are just speaking common. Instead of ‘she’ it becomes ‘e’, instead of ‘his’ it becomes ‘is’. Good concept, hasn’t really caught on.
3. If you meet someone who you are unsure what pronoun they use, just say ‘person’ or ‘they’ or use their name.
4. Just ask! Say something like ‘I’m sorry to ask, but i don’t want to be rude, what pronoun to you use?” This considered polite 🙂
So why is there so much transphobia? Most of it is ignorance, weakness, fear.. and maybe even jelousy. But this doesn’t have to be the way. Think of your sex – are you bio male or female or gential ambiguous? Think how much society have forced you as a girl to have long hair and wear dresses and like pink, and as a boy you have been forced to like monster trucks and guns and you don’t cry because you’re a boy. Is this even who you are? Or is it because from the day you were born, you were you pushed into this, and you learnt you can’t wear dresses because you’re a boy and you can’t shave your hair because you’re a girl.
So what? Who gives a fuck? Be as you are. Try not to conform to society just for the hell of it. Let yourself buy clothes and not care if the are ‘girls’ or ‘boys’ – just buy what you like!
If you have any questions, or if you agree or disagree with me about something I’ve discussed, or if you have more infomation or want to share your experience, please please do leave a comment and I’ll always reply.
Rant over 🙂
Charli xx
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